Saturday bollocks

This is a very late, and very brief bollocks tonight, as I've been out visiting my dear mother.

Her knees have packed in. Apparently all the cartilage has gone and there's loads of goop and stuff. Shes had one replaced this week and arrived back from hospital today. The other one is getting done in six months when this one has healed.

I did ask her what she is doing with her old knees, but apparently she doesn't get to keep them.

I imagine a time in the future when she is more machine than woman and she says, Bucko, I'm you mother.

Nooooooooooooo!

Anyroads. Mrs Bucko was driving us, and on the way home, some chav steps into the road in front of us and saunters across.

Mrs Bucko being her usual patient self, brakes and waits for him to cross.

There's a lot of it about these days. Chavs being as hard as they think they are, know cars have brakes and think they will be perfectly safe.

About five years ago when I was still working in the pubs, I was driving home one Friday night at about one in the morning, through Darwen town centre and I saw a bunch of chavs on the pavement about a hundred yards in front of me and thought nothing of it.

I looked away from the road for a split second while I changed a CD and when I looked up, one of the chavs was walking in front of my car with his arms splayed out like he was carrying a pair of carpets, looking like he thought he was hard as nails.

I didn't even have time to react and it all happened so quickly, but one second he was looking like king shit, and the next second he was diving for his life.

I didn't even touch the brakes, I just carried on and looked in my rear view mirror to see him sprawled out on the pavement with his legs in the air wondering what the fuck had gone wrong.

I was pissing my sides laughing for a good hour after I had got home.

If I'd have hit the stupid bastard, he probably would have been dead. Maybe he learned a lesson that night.

I wish the rest of them would.

Now I'm going to make up for lost time and have a few scoops. Happy Saturday!

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